Highs and Lows.

This week has been a funny one. It’s taken me a few days to blog about this because I’ve been so disappointed and pissed off with everything; I’ve just needed some time to get my head around things.

The week started off with some really encouraging news about my hands. After six weeks of sexy-splinting, my physio said I’m good to start weaning off them. My wrist strenght is nowhere near where it needs to be so I’ve got some exercises and bands to help build up my strength. Fingers crossed (not literally for me unfortunately) that the pain starts to ease up.

I then hit a bit of a bump in the road as I went to the dentist for a check-up and to get them to look at my ‘clicky’ jaw – which has been getting really bad recently – I’ve been waking up in the mornings unable to shut my mouth (no jokes please!). It’s quite scary and I have to keep moving it throughout the day to make it feel more comfortable and keep it in position. Anyway, my dentist had a good look and it turns out my jaw is displaced, and he is certain the discs in the jaw joints are degenerating. And why is that? Yes… my stupid Psoriatic Arthritis strikes again.  So I’m going back next week to get a mouthguard fitted which I’ll need to wear at night for the next three months – joy – and then if it’s still no better, I will need to be refferred to a specialist for some laserlight therapy. Oh and my teeth are crumbling too as a result, so I’ve been prescribed some special toothpaste to help strengthen the teeth (extra flouride I think) and need some fillings to help protect them.

It might sound like something really minor to some people, but it’s just not what I need – mentally or financially. I just really wanted a break from anything ‘new’ happening as a result of this stupid PSA. I try so hard to be an upbeat person the majority of the time but I’ve really struggled this week – it’s just been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

When I left the dentist and headed towards the office, I was really tearful at the news and got really worked up. I ended up having a massive panic attack at Clapham Junction and had to head back home. Work were really understanding and told me to take the afternoon. Which I so so appreciated. Plus – I wasn’t really in any state to be around people! Wayne was a babe and met me on my way back home in his break to give me a cuddle and a pep talk which really helped.  I’ve spent the rest of the week a bit emotional (for obvious reasons) but I’m on the up again now and am feeling a bit better.

I’ve always said this blog was mostly going to be for me to vent my feelings so I’m glad this week that I have this space to do so.  I still get upset writing this but it’s definitely therapy for me. So it’s not a cry for sympathy I promise… I’m fine :-).

im fine

In other news – in my last post I wrote about going on holiday. We had the BEST time. Too many laughs and too many amazing memories including epic road trips, awesome parties and brunches, immense honky tonk bars and getting drunk and deciding to get matching tattoos that we don’t even regret. I had a bit of a blip for a couple of days where my hands were causing me a lot of pain, but otherwise my back held out and my joints were amazingly absolutely fine!

x x x


Author: crystalclearjo

Thirty something northerner living with Psoriatic Arthritis and a host of spine niggles. Busy proving life isn't all about pain...

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