Makes total scents

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Anyone who knows me know I L.O.V.E a good candle. I’m desperate for the nights to start drawing in earlier so I can get the candles out in the lounge every evening. And just ask Wayne, it’s every night – without fail! Honestly I’m not sure what makes me happier than curling up in our Zen Den for a nice calm chilled evening! I’m not sure if it’s the warmth and the cosiness that’ does it for me, or the smells they create. Tea lights, smellies, cute holders, even those battery operated flickering church candles. Whack on some fairy lights too and I’m even more content.

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Recently I’ve been getting in to aromatherapy and using certain smells to create certain moods. We all know aromatherapy and essential oils are good for stress – and considering my back problems, my psoriasis outbreaks and even my psoriatic arthritis were brought on by stress – I am trying lots of different methods to try and combat it; these oils being one of them.

Luckily I’m not suffering any flare-ups at the moment, (*touches alllll the wood in sight*) but I’m not getting complacent and I’m doing lots to create a very calming environment in the flat, and – especially at night time – make sure I’m chilled, content and relaxed. Here’s what I’ve been adding in to my evening routine;

  1. I improved my evening skincare routine – I recently treated myself to a facial and remembered how GOOD it feels. I wasn’t able to have the treatment I’d booked in for because my skin is uber sensitive due to the chemo, so I opted for a less-invasive one which was still really good and included some light-therapy. The calming, therapeutic, massaging movements on your face and the heavenly smells that seem to cleanse the soul as well as the skin were so YUM. It made me want to invest a bit more in my evening skin care routine – so I spent a lot of time (and money) with a lovely lady at the Clarins counter in Croydon who gave me some lovely bits to try to add in to my evening routine (I’m a huge Clarins addict) – these things included evening aromatherapy shower/bath lotions and calming plant-based night treatments. Taking more time to wipe away the day not only makes me slow down, but also reflect on the day I’ve just had.

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  1. I take an hour for myself – now, usually I will tend to get in to bed earlier than Wayne who’s often glued to Sky Sports as part of his evening ritual (*eye roll*). So for me that means time to catch up on The Affair / Grey’s / whatever I’m glued to at the time. I love my bed and it’s the best place to retire to after a long day when the nasty PSA fatigue hits me. I will curl up with my favourite pink himalayan salt candle on which just adds to the #zenden vibes!
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  2. I invested in the best. product. ever! All candle/aromatherapy fans will have heard of Neom Organics. They have recently bought out a beautiful essential oil diffuser – their Wellbeing Pod. I have been eyeing it up for months in the lead up of it’s release, and so I decided to treat myself. It’s gorgeous to look at, it’s easy and safe to use (I can fall asleep and it will turn itself off after 1,2 or 3 hours) and of course the Neom oils are just incredible. I just invested in the one oil as they’re pretty pricey (but the full set is going on the birthday list as we speak!). They have four that you can use; ‘Scent to…’ De-Stress, Boost your Energy, Make you Happy and Sleep. I opted for the Boost your energy one which has lemon and basil in it and smells heavenly! Not only are the oils great for filling your home with the smell and instantly changing your mood, but it also works as a humidifier so it’s just perfect for my poor old non-existent immune system to help clear the air of nasty bacteria and help alleviate dry skin, sore throats and nose and help with any allergies too. I’m a little obsessed with it at the moment and have it on all the time. I’ve also been putting Lavender oil in it at night time in the bedroom (till I get my hand on the NEOM sleep oil) to help get me sleepy.

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    Click here to visit NEOM Organics

After doing a little bit of research into aromatherapy, it seems it’s not just stress it’s good for. It can;

  • Boost energy levels (black pepper, tea tree, jasmine, rosemary…)
  • Speed up healing and recovery (buckthron, lavender, rosehip…)
  • Be a powerful sleep aid (jasmine, lavender, chamomile, ylang ylang…)
  • Enhance our immune systems (lemon, eucalyptus, oregano, peppermint…)
  • Help with stress (lavender, ylang ylang, bergamot, lemon…)
  • Help to control depression (jasmine, lavender, chamomile, peppermint…)
  • Help with aches and pains (lavendar, rosemary, sage, peppermint…)
  • Improve digestion (ginger, chamomile, lavender, fennel…)

I think I need to get my hands on some rosemary and peppermint to go with my lavender and then I think I can look to help boost almost all everything listed above!

So there’s a few things I’ve beeen doing recently to help alleviate stress in my day-to-day, and I must say it does seem to be working so far. I’ll of course keep you posted…

Joey
x x x

It’s not all bad, promise!

I’m very conscious that I’ve gotten into a habit of posting whenever things start to go a bit pear-shaped. I guess it’s because 1) that’s when I have things on my mind, and 2) there’s sometimes a misconception or two to clear up. Or maybe it’s 3) – an attempt to reach those going through similar experiences to me and will totally get it – because unless you suffer with chronic pain I’m afraid you just don’t get it. So here I am just trying to 4) vocalise my feelings and emotions as I navigate my journey through this.

Now, last time I posted I was in a pretty dire place emotionally and physically – sciatica set in (both legs) and left me unable to stand, walk or sit for a scary few days. Luckily – I managed to turn it around and was back up and partying (with slight precaution) at my friend’s wedding in Cambridge the next weekend. Over the past five weeks I’ve had four weddings! Each one of them have been amazing in many different ways, and I’m very lucky my body’s let me cope with it! I do think there’s huuuuge power in positive mental attitude and your brain’s ability to help deal with pain and healing is properly awesome.  No, it’s not going to cure us, but it helps massively in how you perceive pain, and you certainly need it to get through the bad days and get yourself out of bed, ready to fight another day and get your strength back. I’ve always been the smiler, the giggler, the one to see the good in a situation (though you probably wouldn’t believe it from reading this blog!) so I like to think I’m lucky it comes more naturally to me.

Anyway, I’m keeping this post pretty short and sweet for once, and just wanted to check in to say I’m still here, I’m having some good days, and I’m currently relaxing and soothing my joints in this LOVELY bubble bath cracking up at this book and waiting for Love Island to start at 9pm… what’s there to complain about!? ;-).

Joey

xXx

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Breaking point aka -2• in your living room

Ridiculously cold temperatures and snowy stormy weather affect everybody but in particular;

1. People with any form of Arthritis and other joint pains

2. People with slipped / herniated discs and scoliosis/kyphosis

3. People who suffer cramping back muscles through stress and reductions in temperature

4. People with current undiagnosed loss of feeling and intense pain in their hands and are currently waiting on further neurology tests and hand physio

5. Migraine sufferers

6. Psoriasis sufferers where your skin comes out almost instantly in red blotches all over

7. All the poor bastards who suffer all of the above. AKA muggins over here.

The Beast from the East / Snow Storm Emma is in full force here in the UK, and I thought I was doing pretty well… until the boiler in our flat broke last night! I meannnn I’m often one to exaggerate slightly I’ll admit. But I’ve NEVER woken up from brain freeze at 3am and had to sleep in a ridiculous amount of layers! Even the electric blanket was barely doing its job. There was a full on breeze in our bathroom.

So with no heating and no hot water in the flat, Wayne left for work and I managed to escape to the lovely Dalhousie coffee shop in Crystal Palace (after skidding my way up the icy hill) and got a few hours’ work done. But I was in absolute agony with my joints, especially my hands, so I had to give up mid afternoon and make my way home. I also had no idea that that’s where all of south London’s babies seem to meet for their mid-morning cry-fest. Not ideal for conference calls (sorry again team!)

Sadly, we were supposed be heading down to Devon for the weekend to celebrate my Aunt’s birthday as a surprise, but with more snow forecast and the UK on red alert, it was never going to happen. So, Wayne and I have packed up our things and are heading to my Dad’s to seek some refuge and enjoy some central heating which I will never take for granted again!

Stay warm everyone!

Joey

xXx

Fail-safe planning?

The winter months can be pretty daunting for those of us with Psoriasis and with PSA. With the chilly temperatures we’re much more prone to flare ups and Psoriasis breakouts. Going from hot to cold, the early morning chills, having the stuffy heating on at home; all things which can be troublesome.

With the Psoriatic Arthirits, I’m finding the frozen temperatures affect you even more; I’m having to get up earlier to get my joints moving and give my painkillers more of a chance to kick in, and I find I’m walking slower as I brave the coldness and joint pain at once.

December also usually means a huge spike in social activities; catching up with friends to celebrate and organising and attending work parties. It’s also the busiest time of year for birthdays with my friends and family; and as most of my friends are turning 30 this year, it’s definitely a time for partying! I also have to work out where in the country I am over the Christmas holidays – with separated parents at each end of the country, and finding time to co-ordinating seeing Wayne (either in Leeds or London) who also has his own plans in London can be stressful.  For the rest of the month I probably have maybe two nights in a week where I don’t have any plans at all. An easy task to anyone else I imagine, but I do have to just be that bit more careful.

Sounds like a really tough problem, right ;-). Ordinarily, no, but add in the anxiety, PSA and generally just not knowing how I’ll wake up feeling on each day… yeah you get the picture.

I’ve had a really really good last few weeks, with a 100% hit rate for attendance! So, for my own sake more than anything else I wanted to list my highlights since I last blogged…

  • Lasted the whole night at my Christmas party. Party organising is my absolute favourite; so there was no way I was going to have a bad night there. I was determined – and ultimately managed the whole night, without sitting at all, right until ‘lights up’. Yes I may have swapped to wearing pumps from about 11ish onwards, but who cares!
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  • Spent a weekend in Paris with some of my oldest friends. We had a brilliant weekend and I was seriously worried about f*cking up the plans, especially after my last episode of anxiety in Birmingham. In your face PSA – we walked over 12k each day all around the city in the freezing cold. I couldn’t walk quite as fast as everyone else but it really didn’t matter and we had the best time.
    Screenshot-2017-12-11 Alex ( alex_c_mcewan) • Instagram photos and videos
  • The weekend just gone I was in Birmingham again for my friend’s 30th; this time around was a completely different story to said last experience. Again, another kick in the balls to PSA. Even getting snowed in didn’t stop us from having a fab weekend, and we made it back in one piece with not a single hangover between us ;-).
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What helps me with my anxiety is the ability to be planned. I’m also having to take a few Mondays off of work in order to recover. Luckily I have a fair bit of holiday to be able to do that with this month. And it’s exactly what I’ve been doing today… heaven!

In other news, I’ve been able to lower my Methotrexate dosage by a quarter, which feels so good. I’ve also decided to take it as a weekly injection rather than orally. Mtx comes with so many side affects and I was constantly feeling so so nauseous and would have dizzy episodes now and again too.

So I’m now injecting myself weekly for the Mtx and fortnightly with the Humira.  My doctor is happy for me to start scaling back on my painkillers which I’m desperate to do. Though I might need to just wait for the Christmas period to pass and I can focus on that in January. Bring it on!

Joey

x x x

The eye of the storm

It’s a funny one, anxiety – it can come at you in many different ways and often catches you completely off guard. I suffered my most recent bout of it just this weekend – and it sure loves to try and ruin you whether you like it or not.

We’re all different. It can affect you in many different aspects of your life – I find it picks at your insecurities. It’s nasty like that.

Anxiety isn’t just about giving you that nervous anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach. For me, I can often feel it coming on. Think of it like a swirling storm brewing in the distance, and you can see it getting closer and closer but you can’t run away from it. You can run for cover for a short while – find some shelter and shut it out – but eventually it brings down the walls and you hit the brunt of it. I have suffered from depression in the past – and I’m so proud of myself for saying ‘no’ to the doctor when she offered me anti-depressants – and the fight or flight feeling you get with that is very similar. Once you get it you just have to ride the storm and fight to come out the other side.

For chronic pain sufferers, anxiety seems to make everything seem 100x more painful too. Every ache and pain, every movement.

It also makes you imagine the worst scenarios in everything. I hate being any form of centre of attention – and sometimes the anxiety can be so bad I genuinely get glued to my seat I can’t even walk across a room, worried that people will be looking at me. Sounds stupid I know.

I spent the weekend with my my closest friends celebrating one of them gettting engaged. With a whole long exciting weekend planned, filled with celebrations and spending the weekend all together, It got to yesterday afternoon and that’s when I hit the eye of my storm. I suddenly felt so so overwhelmed and my back and joint pain increased by what felt like a million percent. I started scenario planning and playing out the worst case scenarios in my head – for no apparent reason to the average person. What if my joints inflame even more and I have to spend the next few days bedbound? What if my spine locks and I can’t walk?

We’d been out since midday and it had got to about 5pm and the night was still to come, with everyone planning on staying out for at least another few hours. My ability to focus on just having a normal conversation was flailing and all I wanted to do was hide away, curl up and have a cry. Again for – what seemed to everyone else – no reason. Eventually, I physically couldn’t hold the tears back anymore and had a bit of a breakdown between walking from one bar to the next. At that point I had to call it quits and give in. Wayne took me back to our AirBnB place in a cab and we made a quick exit. I was truly embarrassed and felt an absolute failure. All I could feel was pain and humiliation. What a drama queen. How rude for just leaving without saying bye to everyone. All I kept worrying about was what everyone would think and I was just getting more and more upset. I’m bloody thirty for God’s sake… who just loses it out of nowhere?! Time for home – for peace and quiet, a cup of tea, a cry and a hug and everything started to feel a little better. Wayne just knows what to do when I get low like this. Just being there, giving me a cuddle or a knowing look is sometimes all you need to feel more calm, more safe and secure and less lonely in it all.

A few hours later everyone else came home and we had a great evening – very chilled with some crappy tv, pizza and silly games. I soon forgot for a little while how shit I had been feeling.

It really one of the most draining feelings, and all I can do is write about it here and keep positive; build back up my walls and wait for the storm to pass – because it absolutely will.

Joey

xXx